Steps to Patience

Submitted by: Sandra Harris Frey

In a world where there are constant tasks, duties and many “hats to wear”, we sometimes miss out on those golden opportunities because we were so focused on crossing off another item on our to do list in life. We’re in a hurry to be in a hurry if that makes any sense whatsoever. Slow down. Listen. Change your pace. It will be the blessing of a lifetime. You won’t want to cross that item off your life. You will want it there forever to savor.


Action Steps: Developing Patience in the Wilderness
- I will make an encouragement card.
- I will change my pace.
- I will meet God outdoors.
- I will pray in a new way.
- I will keep a wilderness record.
- I will develop patience in the wilderness by .

Action Steps: Developing Patience in Relationships
- I will get to know someone.
- I will pray.
- I will listen.
- I will be flexible.
- I will be interruptible.
- I will develop patience in my relationships by .

Action Steps: Developing Everyday Patience
- I will practice waiting.
- I will practice going slower.
- I will practice being there.
- I will be serene.
- I will develop every day patience by .

Patience Prayer

Precious Lord,
I sit before you humbled that you have always been patient with me. After all, you know how often I’ve moved forward spiritually only to take my eyes off you…time and time again. Yet, you always wait patiently for me to look toward you once more. I want you to be my role model in this do-over of my character, especially my patience! I marvel at how patient you were when you were wrongly accused, beaten nearly to death, and sent to the cross to die. Thank you for having such enormous patience, even during the worst of situations. It’s well past time that I ask you for some of your patience to rub off on me. Thank you in advance for continuing to help me.

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

A Parable by Ginny: Fuzzy and Wuzzy

Quiet down before GOD, be prayerful before him.
Don't bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.
Psalm 37:7

Two baby caterpillars, Fuzzy and Wuzzy, were inching their way through the green grass of the meadow. As they neared a bright bed of flowers, the brilliant burst of a beautiful flying creature captured their attention. “Look, “squealed Fuzzy, “I wonder what that is.” “ I don’t know,” answered Wuzzy, “but I see hundreds of them up in the sky!” Both caterpillars strained to see the vibrant flashes of color as the creatures darted from blossom to blossom. “I want to be able to do that,” cried Fuzzy. “I bet if I could just climb up on one of those flowers, I would be beautiful too.” “Don’t be foolish, “said Wuzzy. “You are nothing like those fellows. You’ll just hurt yourself.”

But Fuzzy wouldn’t listen to her friend. She moved slowly along the ground until she reached the stem of a flower. As her gaze swept upward, she thought, “I just know that if I can touch the colors, I will be like those beautiful creatures I saw.” Fuzzy began climbing toward the colorful petals. As she climbed, she felt her skin becoming tight so she would push and push until she burst through the old skin. Instead of resting to allow her new soft skin to harden, Fuzzy continued her climb. When she finally reached the top of the flower, she latched onto the colorful petal expecting to transform into a beautiful soaring creature. At that moment, a hungry bird spotted Fuzzy, swooped down, and Fuzzy was no more.

Meanwhile, on the ground Wuzzy continued her slow journey through the meadow. She grew in size as she climbed trees to snack on leaves. Each time she burst through her old skin, she rested as her new soft skin hardened to a protective coat. Eventually, Wuzzy climbed a tree, transformed into a gray-brown chrysalis, and hung like a shriveled leaf from a branch. Time passed as Wuzzy waited. One warm day she awoke to a strange and wonderful sensation. She slowly wiggled out of her shell, clung to the branch with her new long legs, and fluttered her moist gossamer wings. The moistness dried in the breeze and the fluttering motion lifted her high about the garden. As she joyously darted from flower to flower, she briefly thought of her friend, Fuzzy. “I wonder if she is experiencing the joy I am feeling right now. I hope so.” Then she continued her delightful journey through the garden.

Father, Help us to remember that You have a plan for each life and that Your timing is perfect. Teach us not to rush ahead of You because that only leads to disappointment and failure. Slow us down so we do not miss the wonders You have prepared for each of us. Amen.

© 2006 by Ginny Holcombe. All rights reserved.

Flip Side of Patience

Impatience. Just the mention of the word can send me into a frenzy some times. Impatience, the word makes me want to take off like Roadrunner. If ever I hear, "You should be more patient" I take a couple of deep breaths, pray, and remember understanding is the key to Patience. For me to be patient I have to dig down deep, focus on the person, problem, or task at hand. I say a prayer, God help me to understand what's going on here. God give me insight. Help me to surrender everything to you. Then I can relax, and then I am better prepared to live in Patience.

I've mentioned before that music helps me to focus - so does it surprise you that I have a song to help me fight my impatience? Who better to help me practice patience, than Axel Rose, and his wise words from Guns-n-Roses song, Patience.

"Said woman take it slow it'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience. Said sugar make it slow and we'll come together fine. All we need is just a little patience."

Take it slow. Relax. Let it go. I think too many times, when people are impatient, they haven't taken the time to place themselves in another persons shoes. One practice I gleaned from acting is the practice of walking in anothers shoes. In acting it's important to take the time to see where other people are coming from. You can't become a character if you don't research to see what makes them who they are. You can't become a character by thinking you are better than the person you are portraying.

So in real life, taking time to understand others, I think makes it easier to have patience with a person or situation. This does not mean you have to agree with what they do, their beliefs, or how they live and construct their daily life...but it helps you to understand. Understanding helps you to put things in a different perspective, and also helps fight impatience.

"Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." ephesians 4:2

"I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience." 1 Timothy 1:16

Too much to do + not enough time = IMPATIENCE

Maybe you are like me. I have an 18-month-old son, a husband, a home, a full-time job and three part-time jobs ( just FYI ~ I'm doing the PT jobs to get us to the place where I can stay home with my son and two of them I would like to continue once I do that!). I've got a lot on my plate like so many women do these days. So when I was preparing for this teaching and felt led to go in the direction of developing patience by SLOWING DOWN, my first thought was, "Are you KIDDING me?!!?!!" Just for the record, no, God wasn't kidding me! Too much to do + not enough time = IMPATIENCE…with spouse, kids, waiter, clerk, even the gosh-darn computer connection!! Read this excerpt from "Character Makeover" by Dr. Katie Brazelton and see if this sounds like your life:

You leap out of bed, zip in and out of the shower, bolt down your breakfast, gulp down your coffee and rush off to work. Your boss tells you to hustle on that report, get in gear on those changes and step on it to complete that project. You dash out to lunch where you wolf down a sandwich, hurry back to the office, dash off some emails, whip through your voice mails and get cracking on those assignments. At five, you hotfoot it out of there, race home in rush-hour traffic, and dart in the front door. You throw dinner on the table, run through everyone's report about their day, scramble to get the kids to their lessons and fall into bed after doing instant messaging and paying some bills on Quicken. And at night you pray, "Lord, I need patience, and I need it now!"

Sound vaguely familiar? Then read on, my friend!

The tendency of those of us that are DOERS, those that have to make something happen if it isn’t happening fast enough, is to JUMP THE GUN. Our motto is: Don’t just stand there; do something …anything! Perhaps God wants our motto to be:Don’t just do something; Stand there!

Psalm 37:7

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret.

*Let God move in His timing ~ WITHOUT your help

*Trust that where you are is EXACTLY where He wants you to be for now

*Proverbs 16:9 ~ The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps. MacArthur states that “God’s sovereignty overrules the plans of men to fulfill His purposes”

*Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean unto your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

When we trust and acknowledge Him as Lord, He will direct our paths. But we shouldn’t then look up and shout, “Lord, what in the world am I doing HERE????!!!” Trust His Sovereignty and His plan and do not go out and make your own way unless you want a mess!

Feeling antsy about a decision or problem that seems to go unnoticed by God?

Step 1: Stand still ~ you won't get clear instructions when you are moving at a break-neck pace

Step 2: PRAY!

Step 3: Surrender your will to His = peace ~ Hand over the map and the compass to Him and let Him navigate

Step 4: Worship ~ He knows what He's doing and is a big enough God to make a way

Step 5: Relax ~ keep doing what He last told you to do until He tells you to do something different

Step 6: Move when and where He leads

So this is a real challenge to those of us that like to MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN! But this is a vital lesson in patience. I pray that those of you who are like me will learn to slow down and then stand still. Pray for me too, won't you?

Steps to Self Control

Self-control. For many, being impulsive can be a positive if we do it for the right reasons. Being impulsive by going the extra mile by helping a friend in need or supporting a cause we think worthy of our attention. Impulsive actions can also be negative if we use our impulsiveness to inflict hurt or pain. That is where we must be brave and exercise self-control. Hurtful words can never be taken back and it is up to us to overcome and conquer our desires against negative impulse.

As our prayer focus for greater self-control, pray that God will give you the power to control your words and actions. Seek his word on topics of self control. Both the books of Galatians and Corinthians have ways to practice our own self discipline.

Action Steps: Developing Self-Control Over My Mouth

- I will give a blessing.
- I will stop and think.
- I will stop gossiping.
- I will be gentle.
- I will be thankful.
- I will guard my mind.
- I will work on developing control over my mouth by .

Action Steps: Developing Self-Discipline

- I will start exercising.
- I will eat a balanced diet.
- I will take a Sabbath.
- I will be punctual.
- I will stop procrastinating.
- I will work on developing self-discipline by .

Action Steps: Developing Good Habits

- I will keep a journal.
- I will find a mentor.
- I will worship.
- I will have a daily mini-Sabbath.
- I will find an accountability partner.
- I will work on developing good habits by .

Self-Control Prayer

Precious Lord,
I’m not doing so well with my self-control. It seems like every time I turn around, I’m “blowing it” again. When I lose control, sin is evident or close on its heels. Help me pay special attention to the action steps I marked, concentrating on them not only this week for homework, but for a lifetime. Hear my request. Send me an accountability partner who will check in with me regularly for prayer and discussion about how I am doing. I need an extra measure of grace to help me implement this character trait into my life, and I am grateful you have already made that deposit in my spiritual bank account. Thank you.

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Stress: Trying to be a Martha When You’re a Mary

For most of my adult life, I was made to feel like I was lazy. I had to be “busy” every waking moment. If I sat down to read, watch TV, or just to sit I was wasting time. I didn’t dare spend a quiet day in my robe and pj’s. When I was a child one of the good things about being sick was lying on the couch and having Mom take care of me. However, as an adult, if I wasn’t sick enough to stay in bed, I was well enough to work. Working was the most important thing in life. I wondered what was wrong with me. My life was filled with the stress of trying to be what I wasn’t. Instead of my self-control allowing myself to be the person God created me to be, I allowed another person to control me.

In the five years since my divorce, God has used many resources to show me that I am not lazy. The following scripture passage became God’s personal message to me as I rediscovered the Ginny He created.

38-40As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand."

41-42The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her." Luke 10: 38-42, MSG.

I am not a Martha. I have some Martha’s in my life and I am very thankful for them. We need Martha’s in our world. I do enjoy the events Martha’s create. I welcome people into my home but I am not a Martha Stewart hostess. I don’t always think to offer people something to drink but I have no problem with them helping themselves. I don’t enjoy fixing a formal meal or setting a fancy table. I do enjoy sharing a meal from Panera Bread or a having a pizza delivered.

I am a Mary. I love to sit at the feet of Jesus and worship. I love to meet friends at a restaurant and talk about what God is doing in our lives. I love to share with anyone who will listen all that God has done for and in me. I am decluttering my life of things that tie me down or take time I would rather spend in other ways. I do work. And I do experience stress. Life is stressful! When I do feel stressed, I whisper a prayer and God always hears. The cause of the stress may not disappear but I always sense God’s calming presence. And now I let myself be me. I have learned to say no. I don’t commit to things because someone thinks I should. I am discovering my passions and focusing on them.

What about you? Who or what controls your life? Whether you are a Martha or a Mary or a little of both, allow your self-control to keep your eyes and heart tuned to Jesus so that when you do experience life’s stress, His presence will calm you. When you do this, much of the stress you feel will disappear. Jesus does care.

Choose Each Day ~ Flesh or Spirit?

Self- control is something that we as women dread talking about. I know I do! But it is an important character trait (as exhibited by the fruit of the Spirit) that must be allowed to develop in our lives.

Proverbs 25:28

28 Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.

There are several concepts inherent in self-control:

Moderation

Self-discipline

Willpower

Restraint

The flipside (or lack of self-control) looks like this: overindulgent, impulsive, over-reactive or lazy

As is written in Character Makeover “The strongest self-control is not self-control at all, but God-control. In and of ourselves, we don’t have the willpower, strength, or virtue to exercise consistent self-control. But when we put ourselves under God’s control, then we will find the power we need to exercise self-control.”

You and I have a choice in everything we do. Choice is rooted in our desires ~ either to satisfy/glorify the flesh (body, emotions, will) or to glorify God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

So evaluate yourself (I know....OUCH!). Which desire is stronger: Flesh or spirit? Who is in control? Someone always is ~ you and me or God. When we choose to give into what the flesh wants (that sarcastic remark or gossipping about co-worker or eating the second piece of cake) that is un-Godly self-control. That’s why God-control is mentioned above. Let God be in control of your self, that way your self-control will truly be Godly.

Romans 8:

5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8 That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.

9 But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) Skip to verse 12.

12 Therefore, dear brothers and sisters,you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. 13 For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.

Just because we struggle with God-controlled self-control doesn’t mean that we aren’t children of God. It means that we must allow His Spirit to grow in us by reading the Word and spending time with Him. What we feed is what will grow whether it be our fleshly desires or the Holy Spirit in us. As we starve our fleshly desires, there is more room for the Spirit to take over and fill us with God’s desires.

It doesn’t take any effort at all to be ruled by the flesh. That’s our natural bent. Giving in to the flesh and not practicing self-control fulfills a desire in us: to do what we want, to feel good in some way, to exercise fleshly self-control, i.e. if I want it, I’m going to have it. But it takes more than our own willpower to be ruled by the Spirit.

Here’s the exciting thing:

Philippians 2:13

13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

When we lack of Godly self-control the evidence can be outward (such as obesity, gossip, outward expressions of anger) or inward (such as negative self-talk, pride, worry/anxiety) but the root is always inward and based in how we think about God in relation to ourselves. We base the way we think about God on something He did or didn’t do or hasn’t done, something He allowed to happen, our lack of trust in Him to take care of us or a situation, not knowing who we are in Christ plus so much more.

What is your main area that is out of God-controlled self-control? What would it look like if you surrendered that to God instead of being controlled by the flesh? How would your life be different? Is your desire to bring glory to God stronger than your desire to give into the flesh and/or being passively controlled by the flesh because it is “easier”? Are you at least willing to be made willing?

Again ~ go to Philippians 2:13: For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. Each one of us can make the choice to allow that work and follow where it leads or take the easy road of fleshly control and its consequences. I know it's a struggle but when we CHOOSE to walk in the Spirit instead of our flesh, we have victory. Let's pray for each other this week in this area. If you are comfortable doing so, please post and share your struggles with self-control so we can be praying for you specifically.

Love to my sisters!

Tara